Since the topic of conversations in my life has been revolving around marriage for the last few weeks (don’t ask me why), I believe it worth a solid one hour of my time to write a thoughtful blog post regarding my view on love. I dedicate this writing to all my friends who have been involved with that kind of conversation with me.

Ps: if you think love is the thing that makes butterflies fly in your stomach, your feet flying off the ground, your head turned upside-down, you might not want to read the rest of the post.

-----------
Inspired by my friend’s blog post, Adelia Putri. The original post can be seen directly here

"No matter how much someone loves you and how much you love someone, or even how much you're meant for each other, if you don't work out on your relationship, it won’t last long, or even if it does, it won’t stay good, it won’t go well."--- Adel’s fairy godmother, Oshin.

One of my closest friends said this to me almost exactly 2 years ago, “what matters in a relationship is that you both feel happy in it. Once you don’t feel that happiness anymore, it becomes a relationship not worth living in anymore.” That surely makes sense to most people, at least at its first hearing. But I beg to differ.

Let us first think about this, what makes most people like the Disney’s way of ending fairytale? The happily-ever-after way, in case you haven’t watched any Disney’s movies. It’s exactly because how too good to be true it is. Yet people never really want to accept the reality that something that is too good to be true is actually too good to be true, if you know what I mean.

That’s the same way with people who believe that love in its worldly-and-loosely translated sense is enough to make all relationship works. It’s just too good to be true.

I believe the world (esp. the movie industry) has been doing injustice with defining and picturing “love” ONLY as a form of emotion.

Love, in my view, has never been something that is being given to or destined for a particular couple, that the world famously describes as ‘soul mate’. I never believe with the concept of love as a form of emotion is enough to make or break a relationship.

Ravi Zacharias once said that love is not supposed to be just an emotional thing. It will never be pure until it comes with the will to be committed as well.

“Love without emotion is a drudgery, love without will is a mockery.” – Ravi Zacharias

Let me quote one paragraph from the Bible that has been famously quoted by one of the most romantic movie of all time “A Walk to Remember.”

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

That repetition of “always” word in the final sentence always reminds me that love is indeed far from what the world has always been trying to put in our mind as a picture of love.

So there you have it, my belief of love.

I believe in a love that needs to be done, not only said; needs to be lived, not only told; needs to be nurtured, not to be left; needs to be worked on, not to be searched for.

Soul mates do exist. But a soul mate is earned, not found. nothing comes for free. – Adelia Putri

Love only as an emotion will bring you a wonderful 1 or 2 years of relationship if you’re lucky, but love as a mixture of will and emotion will bring you a wonderful relationship. Not a relationship that’s happily ever after but a relationship that always stand up and refuses to be brought down by anything whenever wherever and for whatever reasons.

However, truth be told that I still believe God prepares someone for me like the old fairy tale, the only difference is that I need to work on finding, getting, and keeping that someone.

4 comments

1. Nay on 15/6/10 7:02 PM

   hey suta i looooveee this post
   
   gue juga ngalamin ini nih kmrn2x :) membuat gue belajar bertumbuh jadi dewasa... yap cinta lebih dari sekedar perasaan deg2xan, keringat dingin, dan pengen ngelambung ke langit ke 7...
   
   Cinta itu suatu pembelajaran yang gak akan pernah berakhir seumur hidup kita :)

    
2. Sutayasa on 19/6/10 7:59 PM

   Hey Nay
   
   Salam kenal!!
   
   Makasih yah!!
   Glad that my writing is being read and loved.
   
   Good luck buat kehidupan cinta nya Nay, hehe :)

    
3. Anonymous on 17/9/10 10:20 PM

   Suta, it's me - Michelle. I have found your blog and I like your writings - mostly.. :)
   
   I do agree with your perspective about love and soulmates.. :) it is a wise and mature perspective that we have to always bear in our mind.
   
   Love is understanding and respect.. in addition, love is a will of togetherness that we have to always work on it.
   
   Hope you get the one :)

    
4. Anonymous on 1/10/10 9:57 AM

   thanks sut! lumayan sedikit mengena nih di gw.. hahahaha
   
   -satria